In this video, leadership expert Dennis McIntee challenges a mindset that keeps many physicians stuck: victim mentality. When you complain or blame, you give away responsibility. You can complain or create, but you can’t do both. And until you take ownership, you’ll remain trapped in frustration and helplessness.

For physicians, it’s easy to feel like the victim of circumstances beyond your control. Patient loads increase, administrative demands pile up, and emergencies disrupt your schedule. 

But while you can’t control every event, you can always control your response. That shift in perspective is what restores agency, reduces stress, and allows you to make real progress.

The Trap of Victim Mentality 

Victim mentality is subtle. It often shows up in complaints, excuses, or blame. You might hear yourself saying things like:

— “I’d be happier if my schedule weren’t so chaotic.”

— “I can’t focus because my team isn’t reliable.”

— “This organization doesn’t value physicians the way it should.”

Each of these statements places the source of your wellbeing outside of yourself. They suggest that until circumstances change, you can’t thrive. But that’s simply not true.

Whenever you fall into this pattern, you lose agency. It causes motivation to stall, and helplessness can creep in. Over time, the cycle repeats until you feel stuck in stress and resentment.

Why Victims Never Get Well

The simple truth is that victims never get well. 

Life will always throw curveballs you didn’t expect. But complaining doesn’t solve the problem. Blaming others shifts responsibility for your wellbeing away from you. And waiting for outside circumstances to change only causes the frustration to build. 

Growth begins when you stop focusing on what others did wrong and start telling the truth about your own role. You may not be responsible for every event, but you are always responsible for your response.

I often tell my clients, “You can’t complain about what you permit.” Every relationship, commitment, and boundary in your life is something you’ve allowed at some level. That means you also have the ability to change it.

What You Can Control

As a physician, you face plenty of circumstances that are truly out of your hands: unexpected emergencies, patient outcomes, organizational policies, and even global pandemics. 

In 2020, no one had a global pandemic response plan. When the world shut down, it was easy to panic or play the victim. But physicians who wanted to thrive asked instead, “What does this make possible now?” Despite grueling hours and global grief, many used that season to build resilience, develop new skills, and explore different areas of the health care field.

Looking for new opportunities in the midst of chaos or frustration is critical. You can’t always control the events of your life, but you can always control your mindset, your choices, and your actions. That’s where your power lies.

For example, you may not be able to control how many patients walk through the door, but you can control whether you take breaks, delegate effectively, and set boundaries to preserve energy. And while you can’t control a colleague’s negativity, you do have control over how much you engage in gossip or toxic conversations.

When you recognize these areas of influence, you reclaim agency over your life.

Complaining vs. Creating

When you face challenges, you have two options: complain or create.You can’t do both at the same time. 

Complaining keeps you stuck in the story of what’s wrong and reinforces the idea that you are powerless. Creating, on the other hand, asks, “What can I do right now?”

Here’s what that might look like for you: 

If you’re frustrated with long charting hours, you could easily complain about the inefficient system or your lack of support. But you also have the opportunity to create by blocking off 20 minutes at the end of each appointment to document while it’s fresh.

Or if you’re upset about team dynamics, your complaint might be, “No one ever communicates.” To escape victim mentality, you can create a 15-minute huddle each week to get everyone on the same page.

The shift doesn’t require massive changes. It’s about moving from passive frustration to active responsibility. Small actions add up, and with each step you reinforce the belief that you are not a victim.

Practical Steps to Break Free from Victim Mentality

Escaping the victim mindset isn’t about pretending everything is fine. It’s about choosing a response that moves you forward. 

Here are a few steps to begin:

1. Notice where you’re complaining. Pay attention to recurring frustrations and what you complain about most. (Not sure? Your close friends or family you vent to can probably help.) Complaints are clues to where you feel powerless.

2. Identify your role. Ask, “What part do I play here?” Even if it’s only your response, own it.

3. Take immediate action. Do something (anything!) that moves the situation forward. Action interrupts helplessness.

4. Permit less. Consider what you’ve been tolerating: poor boundaries, toxic conversations, or unhealthy work patterns. Decide what you’ll no longer allow.

Each of these steps chips away at victim mentality and builds a stronger sense of agency

Why This Matters in Health Care

Physician burnout is at record highs, and many point to systemic issues as the cause. Those issues are real, but waiting for the system to change isn’t sustainable.

The physicians who thrive are the ones who take ownership of what they can control. They set boundaries, address conflict directly, and protect their energy. And when faced with setbacks, they focus on what is possible rather than what is unfair.

This doesn’t just benefit you. It impacts your patients, colleagues, and family. When you reclaim agency, you show up with clarity, compassion, and resilience. 

But progress only starts when you tell the truth. If you feel exhausted, admit it. If you’ve been avoiding a conversation, acknowledge it. If your boundaries are weak, own it. 

Suppressing the truth only pushes you deeper into the victim mentality. But when you can face reality honestly and recognize your role in shaping outcomes, your brain begins looking for solutions.

From Victim to Victor

You always have a choice about how you respond to the events around you. You can remain in the role of the victim, repeating the same complaints and frustrations. Or you can choose the role of the victor by responding with ownership and courage. 

The question is simple: Where in your life have you been playing the victim? And what will you do today to take back your agency?

The moment you stop blaming and start creating, you’ll experience greater freedom, motivation, and growth and understand how physicians can break free from victim mentality and reduce burnout.

Want weekly wellness and leadership insights like this sent straight to your inbox? Click here to sign up for free.